AH3 #1302
Vagitarian, Little Ring Riding Hood, Day Old Fish, and Just Shawn
12/23/2007

It was a cold and clear day, perfect for hashing! We gathered behind some bldgs off Amberglen near 620/Parmer, Ring was kind enough to park her car in the red 'NO PARKING FIRE ZONE' so as to alert us to the proper driveway to enter. There were quite a few dogs to this dog friendly hash and some virgin dogs too. I think they were all boy doggies, but that didn't stop Reluctant Cottager's dog 'Drama' from trying out his male dominance on all the other puppies! There was 'Kaiser' the big grey Weenie mire owned by Just Carl and Uniporn, as well as 'Shadow' you all know him as 'Hitler', Ring's dog 'Bruno', and another virgin named 'Wilbur' brought by Just Jeff from Dallas. Anyway, I digress.

The hounds were off and into the watershed, mud and water if you wish or dry and easy to cross if you were smart. Up onto a street and then back into a drainage easement (also dry) and a little lite running to the first shot check. The hares had stragically located the milk chocolate, luke warm but tasty looking jug at the bottom of yet another drainage ditch, but this did not deter the hounds from sliding on down for thier down-down. Uniporn was quite determined to get her shot and slid on down to join the crowd.

After awaiting the DFLs and commenting on Just Amy's ability to hash in 4" heels (NOT), we climbed back out of the hole and continued to run down the road, then a zig zag thru a small park and a soccer game, volia we made it to the beer check. Funny hats and cold beer, made the season bright!

Alas, we had further to go, street/road run, and another muddy ass creek to slog thru or if you were alergic to cold, wet feet (or just a wanker) you could easily zen around like most of us decided to do. We ended up at Vagatarian's home after about a total of 4.25 miles. Had fun waiting for the DFLs while watching the doggies try and practice their skate moves on the 1/2 pipe in the garage.

We gathered indoors for a lite snack of pink snowballs, cheesy poofs, and candy canes while All Shaft brought out a little something for the flask of doom called 'Wild Africa'. It was even dressed in it's own loin cloth with a cheetah print. Upon sipping the bottle, Wanks said, 'Tastes like sh*t!' and upon questioning Bubbles what exactly sh*t tastes like he said, 'Kinda tastes like someone got sick on Baileys aka Baileys and Bile.' Eeewww, yuckkk... glad I gave up drinking for experiences like that which I now get to avoid. HA! HA!

Anyway, circle went like most circles do, Wanks met with the Hares: Vagitarian, Little Ring Riding Hood, and Just Sean (his virgin lay). He met with the 6 week wankers All Shaft, No Head, Hymen Regency, and Just Amy (from San Antonio). We said FU to the visitors Deep Fly Diver from Aloha, and Feel for a Pulse & Rearended from Denver, CO. We also had a few virgins such as our hare Just Sean, Just Jimmy and Just Amy from San Antonio and Just Jeff (Rearended's bro from Dallas). Although the RA remembered all these folks, he did forget to honor the FRB (Padre again) and the DFL (Just Roland), but I used the first accusation to remind him of this, so those hashers could then be recognized.

More accusations and songs followed, most noteably:

• Slut calling out Just Jeff and his doggie Wilbur, because Wilbur looked a lot like Slut's dog Grover that got ran over, so we sang, 'Looking Over My Dead Dog Grover'
• Honorable down-down for all those hashers who ran in the muddy creek, we sang 'Dumb A$$'
• I don't remember why we sang 'The S&M Man', but Wanks messed up the 'Puppy' verse and Fish screwed up the 'Abortion Clinic' verse.

Announcements were short, as we headed to Chon Som for dinner and met up with Rainblo Not So Bright who also returned from Iraq with All Shaft, so we had even more reason to celebrate!

Cheers! Whoreo (Off Sec)