AH3 #1298
Death By Dildo, D'Dildo, Tuck It Up The Butt
11/25/2007

Off-Off Sec Reporting!

Ok, well it was a real shitty trail, as usual. Our Hares laid the trail live. We have Death by Dildo and D' Dildo to thank for our semi-sore legs today. It was cold! Really cold. It was so cold that Just Jeremy had snot dribbling down his chin during most of the circle. The trail was roughly 3.5 miles and the first part of the trail was fairly easy. With some shiggy, it wasn't too hard to tell which way the trail was going. I guess we have the mud to thank for that. Newsflash: When it is muddy we can tell which way to go. J The first and only beer check was a little warmer than when we first started. We all started to strip and most of the hounds went on their merry way. Now, I will admit to auto wanking so I am afraid that I missed the second part of the trail. I have a broken ass. That is my excuse. I arrived in style with Tuck It and some crazy cougar by the name of Meat Between the Teeth. Tuck it informed us that he had a tattoo in a rather interesting place. So, curiosity killed me and Meat Between the Teeth took me on the other side of the Toyota 4 Runner to show me Tuck It's fancy artwork on his?well, (sorry, I am gagging)?"thing". It was there that I went into complete shock. Not awe?shock! The circle was rather entertaining and it was damn cold. Meat Between the Teeth was trying to play RA. Good thing Tuck It stepped in! FRB goes to Padre, again. And DFL?.well we HAD called out Smut Mutt for showing up about 5 minutes into circle?then Pornoratti showed up about 10 minutes into circle. With some weird bush growing on his chin, Pornoratti simply started singing hash songs as though he had been there the whole time. We never called him out for that (and why not?). Death by Dildo finally got her 100th Trail. Its about damn time. Coincidentally, she was also a 7 week wanker. There was a potential naming and it was put to the table?.thank goodness! Meat Between the Teeth was called out many times and rightly so. Hide your beers when she comes around! Just Jeremy had on interesting outfit. I thought tights were for girls? For those of you that didn't get the pleasure of seeing his attire, picture a super hero on crack! Our virgin was Just Alan. He graced us with his presence along with "Shiner", his dog that drank most of Wicked's beer. I guess his name is fitting. The food was typical. Peanut butter, tortilla chips, tortillas, cheesy things, and bananas. A hasher's staple meal. Ah, the beer. The beer was grand! Saint Arnolds, some light stuff that tasted weak, and a flask that was full of whisky at one point but I think Tuck It finished that off early on in the morning. HighBeams announced to us where we should go for On In and we all scurried like the drunkards we are to more beer. But where was HighBeams? She never made it to the swanky little pizza joint. The pizza was alright and the company absolutely sucked. Some hashers (I will leave them nameless) kept cursing in front of some toddlers. One innocent bystander probably no older than 3 years of age covered his ears as if they were "earmuffs." Ah, his parents trained him well! Just Jeremy got some action from Meat Between The Teeth. She was insistent that he kiss her....and he did. Not once, but twice. Some women like the Wolverine like features and men in tights. The night ended fairly early but it didn't go without a shallow joke, or a deep joke. I am not sure which one. I wonder what next week will hold...

On On
Just Kim