AH3 #1230
High Beams, Ram Rod and Keeper of the Beams
8/6/06

When I drive further south of the river I tend to get nervous as then I enter "bubba-land" (aka South Austin) and the land of the death march hashes and sometimes point of no return. As I was driving up to the hash I noticed that the temperature had crept up to about 100 degrees, but a small cluster of clouds looked promising. More later about the cluster of clouds…bwahahaha.

I get out of the car and notice that HIGH BEAMS, KEEPER OF THE BEAMS, THE BODY, SLUT SLINGER, SQUEEF, RAIN-BLO-NOT–SO-BRIGHT and RAM ROD are gathered under one of the many shade offering trees. We wait a few more minutes…ok ..about 30 more minutes and more hashers show up.

MIT, ORGAN GRINDER and DAVE show up with mountain bikes. As the "hash" promised it was going to be bike and dog friendly. Our lone dog representation was the ever dog-fabulous "Shadow" (aka Hitler and one of his faithful companions WICKED ITCH OF THE YEAST. After a brief chalk talk, which included no blow-jobs, back checks and only 2 falses the pack was off.

As the pack set-off we ran by TORNANALSOREASS REX doing his best "hash poster boy for sunscreen" pose he could muster up.

The pack of walkers/runners and bikers continued on through Longview Park on very well marked trail.

We arrived at the first beer check after about a mile and a half of trail. WANKSGIVING and "hash poster boy for sunscreen" (aka TORNANALSOREASS REX) were DFLs. As the drinking continued our attention…more like our noses…were drawn to a most unusual and foul smell. Ironically, this smell was mentioned around the same time as TAF decided to begin to dis-robe. We determined that the owner of this most noxious smell was indeed not TAF, but something that had been around much longer than the pack.

We were off again for some brief street trail and then back to the actual well shaded trail through the park. As the pack approached the second beer check CRUSTY BEAVER and SMEGMA BALLS claimed they happened upon a snake. Snake?!>?!?!? It was more like a small anaconda….eeekkk!

On to the last part of trail which had an added intense cloud cover bonus. As we made it back to the on-home the rain which had been threatening…(since the beginning) of trail was actually upon us. The hares picked a great place to end trail under a protected picnic area. We begin to cool off with the cold beer, cold sodas and great food spread and now the cold rain that started to fall.

Once the rains subsided and most of awesome food was consumed circle began. This was probably a new hash record for "nothingness and nada". Meaning we had no visitors, no virgins, no six-week wankers, no awards and no namings . Has the apocalypse come? Will the world end? Nah, the hash will continue on…

After traditional down-downs including; the hares, auto-wankers (HOME ALONE) , birthdays (MIT) and a "hasher-versary of sorts) 10 years ago TAF and SMB met in Cyprus …awww… many songs were sang (some very badly as RA TUCK IT seemed to forget some word…), beer was killed and it was time for the circle to end.

Ending festivities were held at Double Dave's pizza were pizza, cheese styx, stromboli and other breaded delights and more beer- light and dark were consumed happily and hungrily by all who attended.

P.S.-BRRR saw nothing scary or life threatening on this trail.

Peace and Love,
BRRRR