Trail# 1314 (March 16, 2008)

Trail:1314Green Dress Run
Hares:2Head Banger, @ss Gagger
Start:3:10pm9200 Neils Thompson Drive
Beer Check:#1Parking Garage on Gault Lane
End:4:59pmOn a dirt road 0.2 mile south of 2245 Park Bend Drive
Miles:4.9
Temp in Circle:73°F
Pack:30Due to the continued absence of the On Sec, the Off Sec, and the Off Off Sec today''s trash will be written by Squeezin' Semen.
FRB:Father Syphilis
DFL:Death By Dildo
Visitors:1Digital Flash [Houston H3]
New Boots:4Just Elizabeth (Killeen), Just Matt (w/Head Banger), Just Sara (Killeen), Just Vicki (Killeen)
Six Week Wankers:3Cadaver Diver [6wks], Just Michelle (w/Just Roland) [8wks], Sex Panther [6wks]
Auto Wankers:2All Shaft No Head, Just Michelle (w/Just Roland)
DNF:0
Awards:2Head Banger (69 Trails), @ss Gagger (69 Trails)
Namings:2Just Carl=Client #69, Just Sara (Killeen)=Chick On A Stick
Transplants:0
Noteworthy Down Downs:#1Death By Dildo drank for her 40th birthday
Noteworthy Down Downs:#2Head Banger drank for her 10th Analversery
Maps:Trail Map     Trail Elevation     RED track is by Body and BLUE track (6.0 miles) is by Padre

AH3 Statistics (current Junta year)

Trails18
Longest Trail9.0 miles[Dec 16th] Hared by High Beams, Wicked Itch of the Yeast, SoCo Ho
8.5 miles[Jan 6th] Hared by SmegmaBalls, Just Katharina (BRC)
7.3 miles[Feb 24th] Hared by Extra Sausage, Please, Day Old Fish
Shortest Trail3.5 miles[Nov 25th] Hared by Death By Dildo, D'Dildo, Tuck It Up The Butt
3.6 miles[Feb 3rd] Hared by Head Banger, Pumper Up The Butt, Mo Job
3.7 miles[Dec 30th] Hared by Father Syphilis, Just Michael (BRC), Takes A Bigger Cock
Largest Pack63[Feb 10th] Hared by She Mussel Bitch, Dick the Boy Wonder
53[Feb 17th] Hared by High Beams, Little Ring Riding Hood, Bone Sucker, Just Mike (w/LRRH), Sticky Fingers
52[Dec 30th] Hared by Father Syphilis, Just Michael (BRC), Takes A Bigger Cock
Smallest Pack21[Nov 25th] Hared by Death By Dildo, D'Dildo, Tuck It Up The Butt
25[Feb 24th] Hared by Extra Sausage, Please, Day Old Fish
25[Mar 9th] Hared by Dead Whore Dave, Dude, Where's My Beercheck?
28[Dec 23rd] Hared by Vagitarian, Little Ring Riding Hood, Day Old Fish, Just Shawn (w/Vag)
Most Auto Wankers6 (15%)[Dec 9th] Hared by Strap-on Elvis, C'em Cummin
5 (17%)[Dec 16th] Hared by High Beams, Wicked Itch of the Yeast, SoCo Ho
4 (10%)[Mar 2nd] Hared by C'em Cummin, Day Old Fish, Try A Fuck (TAF), The Body
4 (16%)[Mar 9th] Hared by Dead Whore Dave, Dude, Where's My Beercheck?
4 (8%)[Feb 17th] Hared by High Beams, Little Ring Riding Hood, Bone Sucker, Just Mike (w/LRRH), Sticky Fingers
Most Frequent FRBFather Syphilis71297,1298,1302,1304,1308,1313,1314
Smut Mutt31305,1311,1312
Warmest Circle79°F[Dec 2nd] Hared by Try A Fuck (TAF), Father Syphilis
78°F[Feb 3rd] Hared by Head Banger, Pumper Up The Butt, Mo Job
77°F[Mar 2nd] Hared by C'em Cummin, Day Old Fish, Try A Fuck (TAF), The Body
77°F[Feb 24th] Hared by Extra Sausage, Please, Day Old Fish
Coldest Circle43°F[Nov 25th] Hared by Death By Dildo, D'Dildo, Tuck It Up The Butt
51°F[Dec 16th] Hared by High Beams, Wicked Itch of the Yeast, SoCo Ho
53°F[Jan 20th] Hared by She Mussel Bitch, Father Syphilis
Average Trail5.6 milesThe trails will be in the range 4.1-7.1 miles 68% of the time.
Average Pack37The packs will be in the range 26-48 on 68% of the trails.
Average Attendance22%
Average Trail (2007)5.0 milesThe trails were in the range 3.0-7.0 miles 68% of the time.
Average Pack (2007)31The packs were in the range 23-39 on 68% of the trails.
Average Trail (2006)5.2 milesThe trails were in the range 3.5-6.3 miles 68% of the time.
Average Pack (2006)37The packs were in the range 27-47 on 68% of the trails.
Average Trail (2005)5.5 milesThe trails were in the range 3.7-7.3 miles 68% of the time.
Average Pack (2005)40The packs were in the range 27-53 on 68% of the trails.
Active Hashers14359% Harriers, 41% Harriettes
Inactive Hashers610
Six-Week Wankers36Average Weeks Wanking= 13
NFHN32
Visitors38
New Boots61And 34 were frightened away by the experience!
Location of Active Austin Hashers
Bubbaland   Central     North       Northwest   East        West        Lake Travis No Zipcode  Not Austin 
6 0 24 15 12 1 3 62 20
100% AttendanceThe Body100%
Hashing is my life!Father Syphilis94%
High Beams94%
Smut Mutt94%
Wicked Itch of the Yeast89%
Wanksgiving83%
50-75% AttendanceCreamadonna72%
Try A Fuck (TAF)67%
SoCo Ho67%
She Mussel Bitch67%
Client #6967%
Just Roland (w/Kim)61%
Scatman Poo61%
All Shaft No Head61%
Reluctant Cottager56%
Bubbles The Sad Beer Clown56%
Wh-Oreo56%
UniPorn56%
Extra Sausage, Please50%
Prozac50%
Mind Your Bitch50%
Crusty Beaver50%
Squeeze Box50%
Why Not?50%
Frequent Autowankers (% of Trails)Squeef 75%
Just Head 67%
Cherry Popper 60%
Just Michelle (w/Just Roland) 50%
Heavin' Semen 50%
El Smeets 50%
Missed Her Bush 50%
Most Profilic Hares (# of trails hared)
Father Syphilis31299,1303,1306
Day Old Fish31302,1311,1312
C'em Cummin31300,1307,1312
Experienced Hashers that have NOT hared this Junta year
46(Massive) Slut Slinger, A Bill Named Sue, All Shaft No Head, Beaver Cleaver, Big Bloody Ketchup, Blow Hole, Brrrr, Cadaver Diver, Cherry Popper, Creamadonna, Crusty Beaver, Cumonawanalaya, Daffadildo, Do Monkey, Easy Access, El Smeets, Free Meat, Fuck U Knave, Great Dane Pain, Heavin' Semen, I Pee Freely, I Swallow Wood, Just Head, Meat Between The Teeth, Menage A Paw, Missed Her Bush, Mr. Pib, My Ingrown Testicle, Organ Grinder, Pornarotti, Porno Pixie, Prozac, RainBlow Not-So-Bright, Rocky Twat, Smells Like Teen Fanny, Smut Mutt, Sperm Bank, Squeef, Squeezin' Semen, Stay Free With Wings, Swalamander, Twin Peaks, Twinkie Up The Butt, Two Drinks Away From My Sister, Unzip Me, blASSt Zone
The TOP 10 Hares (# of trails hared) since November 16, 2003
The Body21
Day Old Fish21
Father Syphilis20
She Mussel Bitch19
High Beams18
Try A Fuck (TAF)17
Death By Dildo15
Tuck It Up The Butt13
C'em Cummin13
Brownie13
Strap-on Elvis11
@ss Gagger11
All Shaft No Head10
Wicked Itch of the Yeast10
Wanksgiving9
Lost N Mound9
A trip down memory lane - Experienced Hashers that haven't been seen on trail for a LONG time
26babyG, Bad Andi, Ballsac Fondler, Diaper Dan, Glow Worm, Happy Crack, Home Alone, Instant Replay, Itchy Hole, Jug Tugger, Lewis and Cock, Limestone cOW!boy, Lost N Mound, Love Bite, Medusa, No Dick Doc, Pee Pee Longstocking, Pop-A-Cock, Pork Pushing Pimp, Princess LeiMe, Ram Rod, Speedie Edie, Sphincter Blinker, Tits R 4 Tricks, Tornanalsoreass Rex, Whoops Wrong Hole
Most enthusiastic New Boots (% attendance since first trail)
Just Roland (w/Kim)55%
SoCo Ho55%
Mind Your Bitch53%
Scatman Poo50%
CruciFUX50%
Awards Earned (Active Hashers Only)
666-999 Trails2Crusty Beaver, She Mussel Bitch
500-665 Trails1Sperm Bank
250-499 Trails17Big Bloody Ketchup, Blow Hole, Cadaver Diver, Cherry Popper, Father Syphilis, High Beams, Meat Between The Teeth, Mr. Pib, My Ingrown Testicle, Organ Grinder, Pumper Up The Butt, SmegmaBalls, Smut Mutt, The Body, Try A Fuck (TAF), Twin Peaks, Twinkie Up The Butt
100-249 Trails25(Massive) Slut Slinger, A Bill Named Sue, All Shaft No Head, Bubbles The Sad Beer Clown, C'em Cummin, Creamadonna, Crotch Rot, Day Old Fish, Death By Dildo, Easy Access, El Smeets, Free Meat, Great Dane Pain, I Pee Freely, Just Head, Squeef, Squeezin' Semen, Stay Free With Wings, Strap-on Elvis, Swalamander, Tuck It Up The Butt, Unzip Me, Wanksgiving, Wh-Oreo, Wicked Itch of the Yeast
69-99 Trails1Fuck U Knave
25-68 Trails25@ss Gagger, Beaver Cleaver, blASSt Zone, Bone Sucker, Brrrr, Cumonawanalaya, Daffadildo, Dead Whore Dave, Do Monkey, Dude, Where's My Beercheck?, Head Banger, Heavin' Semen, I Swallow Wood, Little Ring Riding Hood, Menage A Paw, Missed Her Bush, Pornarotti, Porno Pixie, Prozac, RainBlow Not-So-Bright, Rocky Twat, Smells Like Teen Fanny, Squeeze Box, Two Drinks Away From My Sister, Vagitarian