Trail# 1313 (March 9, 2008)

Trail:1313Sewage Canal Redux
Hares:2Dead Whore Dave, Dude, Where's My Beercheck?
Start:2:33pmBartholomew Park
Beer Check:#1Culdesac at 2499 Devonshire Drive
Beer Check:#2Church parking lot at 7444 Bucknell Drive
End:4:23pmGlazers Wholesale Distributors (8119 Exchange Drive)
Miles:7.2
Temp in Circle:65°F
Pack:25In the absence of the On-Sec, the Off-Sec and the Off-Off Sec, UniPorn was named Off-Off-Off Sec and will do the Trash for this trail.
FRB:Father Syphilis
DFL:Big Bloody Ketchup
Visitors:0
New Boots:1Just Senad (w/UniPorn)
Six Week Wankers:2Big Bloody Ketchup [12wks], Twisted Fister [25wks]
Auto Wankers:4Death By Dildo, The Body, Tuck It Up The Butt, Twisted Fister
DNF:0
Awards:0
Namings:0
Transplants:0
Noteworthy Down Downs:0
Maps:Trail Map     Trail Elevation     GPS track courtesy of Padre

AH3 Statistics (current Junta year)

Trails17

Longest Trail9.0 miles[Dec 16th] Hared by High Beams, Wicked Itch of the Yeast, SoCo Ho
8.5 miles[Jan 6th] Hared by SmegmaBalls, Just Katharina (BRC)
7.3 miles[Feb 24th] Hared by Extra Sausage, Please, Day Old Fish

Shortest Trail3.5 miles[Nov 25th] Hared by Death By Dildo, D'Dildo, Tuck It Up The Butt
3.6 miles[Feb 3rd] Hared by Head Banger, Pumper Up The Butt, Mo Job
3.7 miles[Dec 30th] Hared by Father Syphilis, Just Michael (BRC), Takes A Bigger Cock

Largest Pack63[Feb 10th] Hared by She Mussel Bitch, Dick the Boy Wonder
53[Feb 17th] Hared by High Beams, Little Ring Riding Hood, Bone Sucker, Just Mike (w/LRRH), Sticky Fingers
52[Dec 30th] Hared by Father Syphilis, Just Michael (BRC), Takes A Bigger Cock

Smallest Pack21[Nov 25th] Hared by Death By Dildo, D'Dildo, Tuck It Up The Butt
25[Feb 24th] Hared by Extra Sausage, Please, Day Old Fish
25[Mar 9th] Hared by Dead Whore Dave, Dude, Where's My Beercheck?
28[Dec 23rd] Hared by Vagitarian, Little Ring Riding Hood, Day Old Fish, Just Shawn (w/Vag)

Most Auto Wankers6 (15%)[Dec 9th] Hared by Strap-on Elvis, C'em Cummin
5 (17%)[Dec 16th] Hared by High Beams, Wicked Itch of the Yeast, SoCo Ho
4 (10%)[Mar 2nd] Hared by C'em Cummin, Day Old Fish, Try A Fuck (TAF), The Body
4 (16%)[Mar 9th] Hared by Dead Whore Dave, Dude, Where's My Beercheck?
4 (8%)[Feb 17th] Hared by High Beams, Little Ring Riding Hood, Bone Sucker, Just Mike (w/LRRH), Sticky Fingers

Most Frequent FRBFather Syphilis61297,1298,1302,1304,1308,1313
Smut Mutt31305,1311,1312

Warmest Circle79°F[Dec 2nd] Hared by Try A Fuck (TAF), Father Syphilis
78°F[Feb 3rd] Hared by Head Banger, Pumper Up The Butt, Mo Job
77°F[Feb 24th] Hared by Extra Sausage, Please, Day Old Fish
77°F[Mar 2nd] Hared by C'em Cummin, Day Old Fish, Try A Fuck (TAF), The Body

Coldest Circle43°F[Nov 25th] Hared by Death By Dildo, D'Dildo, Tuck It Up The Butt
51°F[Dec 16th] Hared by High Beams, Wicked Itch of the Yeast, SoCo Ho
53°F[Jan 20th] Hared by She Mussel Bitch, Father Syphilis

Average Trail5.6 milesThe trails will be in the range 4.0-7.2 miles 68% of the time.
Average Pack38The packs will be in the range 27-49 on 68% of the trails.
Average Attendance23%
Average Trail (2007)5.0 milesThe trails were in the range 3.0-7.0 miles 68% of the time.
Average Pack (2007)31The packs were in the range 23-39 on 68% of the trails.
Average Trail (2006)5.2 milesThe trails were in the range 3.5-6.3 miles 68% of the time.
Average Pack (2006)37The packs were in the range 27-47 on 68% of the trails.
Average Trail (2005)5.5 milesThe trails were in the range 3.7-7.3 miles 68% of the time.
Average Pack (2005)40The packs were in the range 27-53 on 68% of the trails.

Active Hashers14761% Harriers, 39% Harriettes
Inactive Hashers606
Six-Week Wankers37Average Weeks Wanking= 14
NFHN34
Visitors37
New Boots57And 30 were frightened away by the experience!

Location of Active Austin Hashers
Bubbaland   Central     North       Northwest   East        West        Lake Travis No Zipcode  Not Austin 
7 0 25 17 12 1 3 62 20

100% AttendanceHigh Beams100%
The Body100%

Hashing is my life!Father Syphilis94%
Smut Mutt94%
Wanksgiving88%
Wicked Itch of the Yeast88%
Creamadonna76%

50-75% AttendanceShe Mussel Bitch71%
SoCo Ho71%
Try A Fuck (TAF)71%
Scatman Poo65%
Just Carl (w/Do Monkey)65%
Bubbles The Sad Beer Clown59%
Wh-Oreo59%
Reluctant Cottager59%
All Shaft No Head59%
Just Roland (w/Kim)59%
Extra Sausage, Please53%
UniPorn53%
Mind Your Bitch53%
Crusty Beaver53%
Squeeze Box53%

Frequent Autowankers (% of Trails)Squeef100%
Just Head 67%
Cherry Popper 60%
El Smeets 50%
Tuck It Up The Butt 50%
Heavin' Semen 50%
Missed Her Bush 50%

Most Profilic Hares (# of trails hared)
Father Syphilis31299,1303,1306
C'em Cummin31300,1307,1312
Day Old Fish31302,1311,1312

Experienced Hashers that have NOT hared this Junta year
48(Massive) Slut Slinger, @ss Gagger, A Bill Named Sue, All Shaft No Head, Beaver Cleaver, Big Bloody Ketchup, Blow Hole, Brrrr, Cadaver Diver, Cherry Popper, Creamadonna, Crusty Beaver, Cumonawanalaya, Daffadildo, Do Monkey, Easy Access, El Smeets, Free Meat, Fuck U Knave, Great Dane Pain, Heavin' Semen, I Pee Freely, I Swallow Wood, Just Head, Meat Between The Teeth, Menage A Paw, Missed Her Bush, Mr. Pib, My Ingrown Testicle, Organ Grinder, Pornarotti, Porno Pixie, Prozac, RainBlow Not-So-Bright, Rocky Twat, Smells Like Teen Fanny, Smut Mutt, Sperm Bank, Squeef, Squeezin' Semen, Stay Free With Wings, Swalamander, Tits R 4 Tricks, Twin Peaks, Twinkie Up The Butt, Two Drinks Away From My Sister, Unzip Me, blASSt Zone

The TOP 10 Hares (# of trails hared) since November 16, 2003
The Body21
Day Old Fish21
Father Syphilis20
She Mussel Bitch19
High Beams18
Try A Fuck (TAF)17
Death By Dildo15
Tuck It Up The Butt13
C'em Cummin13
Brownie13
Strap-on Elvis11
All Shaft No Head10
@ss Gagger10
Wicked Itch of the Yeast10
Lost N Mound9
Wanksgiving9

A trip down memory lane - Experienced Hashers that haven't been seen on trail for a LONG time
25babyG, Bad Andi, Ballsac Fondler, Diaper Dan, Glow Worm, Happy Crack, Home Alone, Instant Replay, Itchy Hole, Jug Tugger, Lewis and Cock, Limestone cOW!boy, Lost N Mound, Love Bite, Medusa, No Dick Doc, Pee Pee Longstocking, Pop-A-Cock, Pork Pushing Pimp, Princess LeiMe, Ram Rod, Speedie Edie, Sphincter Blinker, Tornanalsoreass Rex, Whoops Wrong Hole

Most enthusiastic New Boots (% attendance since first trail)
SoCo Ho57%
Mind Your Bitch56%
CruciFUX54%
Just Roland (w/Kim)53%
Scatman Poo52%
Mind Your Bitch50%
Just Will50%

Awards Earned (Active Hashers Only)
666-999 Trails2Crusty Beaver, She Mussel Bitch
500-665 Trails1Sperm Bank
250-499 Trails17Big Bloody Ketchup, Blow Hole, Cadaver Diver, Cherry Popper, Father Syphilis, High Beams, Meat Between The Teeth, Mr. Pib, My Ingrown Testicle, Organ Grinder, Pumper Up The Butt, SmegmaBalls, Smut Mutt, The Body, Try A Fuck (TAF), Twin Peaks, Twinkie Up The Butt
100-249 Trails25(Massive) Slut Slinger, A Bill Named Sue, All Shaft No Head, Bubbles The Sad Beer Clown, C'em Cummin, Creamadonna, Crotch Rot, Day Old Fish, Death By Dildo, Easy Access, El Smeets, Free Meat, Great Dane Pain, I Pee Freely, Just Head, Squeef, Squeezin' Semen, Stay Free With Wings, Strap-on Elvis, Swalamander, Tuck It Up The Butt, Unzip Me, Wanksgiving, Wh-Oreo, Wicked Itch of the Yeast
69-99 Trails1Fuck U Knave
25-68 Trails26@ss Gagger, Beaver Cleaver, blASSt Zone, Bone Sucker, Brrrr, Cumonawanalaya, Daffadildo, Dead Whore Dave, Do Monkey, Dude, Where's My Beercheck?, Head Banger, Heavin' Semen, I Swallow Wood, Little Ring Riding Hood, Menage A Paw, Missed Her Bush, Pornarotti, Porno Pixie, Prozac, RainBlow Not-So-Bright, Rocky Twat, Smells Like Teen Fanny, Squeeze Box, Tits R 4 Tricks, Two Drinks Away From My Sister, Vagitarian