Trail# 1312 (March 2, 2008)

Trail:13123rd Chuck Norris Hash
Hares:4C'em Cummin, Day Old Fish, Try A Fuck (TAF), The Body
Start:1:31pmChon Som
Beer Check:#11749 Plaverville Lane
End:2:40pm2207 Emmet Parkway
Miles:4.7
Temp in Circle:77°F
Pack:42
FRB:Smut Mutt
DFL:Unzip Me
Visitors:1Wet/Dry Vac [Dallas/Ft. Worth H3]
New Boots:2Just Nathan (w/Two Drinks), Just Scott (w/Winston)
Six Week Wankers:6blASSt Zone [30wks], Cumonawanalaya [85wks], Free Meat [34wks], I Pee Freely [83wks], Just Winston [70wks], Mum Chucks [33wks]
Auto Wankers:4@ss Gagger, blASSt Zone, Cumonawanalaya, Just Head
DNF:0
Awards:0
Namings:2Just PMP's Mom=Mum Chucks, Just Shawn=Tippy Turd
Transplants:0
Noteworthy Down Downs:0
Maps:Trail Map     Trail Elevation     RED track is courtesy of Scatman Poo

AH3 Statistics (current Junta year)

Trails16

Longest Trail9.0 miles[Dec 16th] Hared by High Beams, Wicked Itch of the Yeast, SoCo Ho
8.5 miles[Jan 6th] Hared by SmegmaBalls, Just Katharina (BRC)
7.3 miles[Feb 24th] Hared by Extra Sausage, Please, Day Old Fish

Shortest Trail3.5 miles[Nov 25th] Hared by Death By Dildo, D'Dildo, Tuck It Up The Butt
3.6 miles[Feb 3rd] Hared by Head Banger, Pumper Up The Butt, Mo Job
3.7 miles[Dec 30th] Hared by Father Syphilis, Just Michael (BRC), Takes A Bigger Cock

Largest Pack63[Feb 10th] Hared by She Mussel Bitch, Dick the Boy Wonder
53[Feb 17th] Hared by High Beams, Little Ring Riding Hood, Bone Sucker, Just Mike (w/LRRH), Sticky Fingers
52[Dec 30th] Hared by Father Syphilis, Just Michael (BRC), Takes A Bigger Cock

Smallest Pack21[Nov 25th] Hared by Death By Dildo, D'Dildo, Tuck It Up The Butt
25[Feb 24th] Hared by Extra Sausage, Please, Day Old Fish
28[Dec 23rd] Hared by Vagitarian, Little Ring Riding Hood, Day Old Fish, Just Shawn (w/Vag)

Most Auto Wankers6 (15%)[Dec 9th] Hared by Strap-on Elvis, C'em Cummin
5 (17%)[Dec 16th] Hared by High Beams, Wicked Itch of the Yeast, SoCo Ho
4 (10%)[Mar 2nd] Hared by C'em Cummin, Day Old Fish, Try A Fuck (TAF), The Body
4 (8%)[Feb 17th] Hared by High Beams, Little Ring Riding Hood, Bone Sucker, Just Mike (w/LRRH), Sticky Fingers

Most Frequent FRBFather Syphilis51297,1298,1302,1304,1308
Smut Mutt31305,1311,1312

Warmest Circle79°F[Dec 2nd] Hared by Try A Fuck (TAF), Father Syphilis
78°F[Feb 3rd] Hared by Head Banger, Pumper Up The Butt, Mo Job
77°F[Mar 2nd] Hared by C'em Cummin, Day Old Fish, Try A Fuck (TAF), The Body
77°F[Feb 24th] Hared by Extra Sausage, Please, Day Old Fish

Coldest Circle43°F[Nov 25th] Hared by Death By Dildo, D'Dildo, Tuck It Up The Butt
51°F[Dec 16th] Hared by High Beams, Wicked Itch of the Yeast, SoCo Ho
53°F[Jan 20th] Hared by She Mussel Bitch, Father Syphilis

Average Trail5.5 milesThe trails will be in the range 3.9-7.1 miles 68% of the time.
Average Pack39The packs will be in the range 28-50 on 68% of the trails.
Average Attendance23%
Average Trail (2007)5.0 milesThe trails were in the range 3.0-7.0 miles 68% of the time.
Average Pack (2007)31The packs were in the range 23-39 on 68% of the trails.
Average Trail (2006)5.2 milesThe trails were in the range 3.5-6.3 miles 68% of the time.
Average Pack (2006)37The packs were in the range 27-47 on 68% of the trails.
Average Trail (2005)5.5 milesThe trails were in the range 3.7-7.3 miles 68% of the time.
Average Pack (2005)40The packs were in the range 27-53 on 68% of the trails.

Active Hashers15361% Harriers, 39% Harriettes
Inactive Hashers606
Six-Week Wankers34Average Weeks Wanking= 14
NFHN40
Visitors36
New Boots57And 24 were frightened away by the experience!

Location of Active Austin Hashers
Bubbaland   Central     North       Northwest   East        West        Lake Travis No Zipcode  Not Austin 
7 0 25 17 12 1 3 68 20

100% AttendanceHigh Beams100%
The Body100%

Hashing is my life!Father Syphilis94%
Smut Mutt94%
Wanksgiving88%
Wicked Itch of the Yeast88%
Creamadonna81%
Try A Fuck (TAF)75%
SoCo Ho75%
She Mussel Bitch75%

50-75% AttendanceScatman Poo69%
Just Roland (w/Kim)63%
Wh-Oreo63%
Just Carl (w/Do Monkey)63%
Bubbles The Sad Beer Clown63%
Reluctant Cottager56%
Mind Your Bitch56%
All Shaft No Head56%
Day Old Fish50%
Pornarotti50%
Extra Sausage, Please50%
UniPorn50%
Mind Your Bitch50%
Prozac50%
Crusty Beaver50%
Squeeze Box50%
Why Not?50%

Frequent Autowankers (% of Trails)Squeef100%
Just Head 67%
Cherry Popper 60%
Heavin' Semen 50%
El Smeets 50%
Missed Her Bush 50%

Most Profilic Hares (# of trails hared)
Father Syphilis31299,1303,1306
C'em Cummin31300,1307,1312
Day Old Fish31302,1311,1312

Experienced Hashers that have NOT hared this Junta year
50(Massive) Slut Slinger, @ss Gagger, A Bill Named Sue, All Shaft No Head, Beaver Cleaver, Big Bloody Ketchup, Blow Hole, Brrrr, Cadaver Diver, Cherry Popper, Creamadonna, Crusty Beaver, Cumonawanalaya, Daffadildo, Dead Whore Dave, Do Monkey, Dude, Where's My Beercheck?, Easy Access, El Smeets, Free Meat, Fuck U Knave, Great Dane Pain, Heavin' Semen, I Pee Freely, I Swallow Wood, Just Head, Meat Between The Teeth, Menage A Paw, Missed Her Bush, Mr. Pib, My Ingrown Testicle, Organ Grinder, Pornarotti, Porno Pixie, Prozac, RainBlow Not-So-Bright, Rocky Twat, Smells Like Teen Fanny, Smut Mutt, Sperm Bank, Squeef, Squeezin' Semen, Stay Free With Wings, Swalamander, Tits R 4 Tricks, Twin Peaks, Twinkie Up The Butt, Two Drinks Away From My Sister, Unzip Me, blASSt Zone

The TOP 10 Hares (# of trails hared) since November 16, 2003
Day Old Fish21
The Body21
Father Syphilis20
She Mussel Bitch19
High Beams18
Try A Fuck (TAF)17
Death By Dildo15
Tuck It Up The Butt13
C'em Cummin13
Brownie13
Strap-on Elvis11
Wicked Itch of the Yeast10
All Shaft No Head10
@ss Gagger10
Lost N Mound9
Wanksgiving9

A trip down memory lane - Experienced Hashers that haven't been seen on trail for a LONG time
25babyG, Bad Andi, Ballsac Fondler, Diaper Dan, Glow Worm, Happy Crack, Home Alone, Instant Replay, Itchy Hole, Jug Tugger, Lewis and Cock, Limestone cOW!boy, Lost N Mound, Love Bite, Medusa, No Dick Doc, Pee Pee Longstocking, Pop-A-Cock, Pork Pushing Pimp, Princess LeiMe, Ram Rod, Speedie Edie, Sphincter Blinker, Tornanalsoreass Rex, Whoops Wrong Hole

Most enthusiastic New Boots (% attendance since first trail)
SoCo Ho60%
Mind Your Bitch60%
CruciFUX58%
Just Will57%
Just Roland (w/Kim)56%
Scatman Poo55%
Mind Your Bitch53%

Awards Earned (Active Hashers Only)
666-999 Trails2Crusty Beaver, She Mussel Bitch
500-665 Trails1Sperm Bank
250-499 Trails17Big Bloody Ketchup, Blow Hole, Cadaver Diver, Cherry Popper, Father Syphilis, High Beams, Meat Between The Teeth, Mr. Pib, My Ingrown Testicle, Organ Grinder, Pumper Up The Butt, SmegmaBalls, Smut Mutt, The Body, Try A Fuck (TAF), Twin Peaks, Twinkie Up The Butt
100-249 Trails25(Massive) Slut Slinger, A Bill Named Sue, All Shaft No Head, Bubbles The Sad Beer Clown, C'em Cummin, Creamadonna, Crotch Rot, Day Old Fish, Death By Dildo, Easy Access, El Smeets, Free Meat, Great Dane Pain, I Pee Freely, Just Head, Squeef, Squeezin' Semen, Stay Free With Wings, Strap-on Elvis, Swalamander, Tuck It Up The Butt, Unzip Me, Wanksgiving, Wh-Oreo, Wicked Itch of the Yeast
69-99 Trails1Fuck U Knave
25-68 Trails26@ss Gagger, Beaver Cleaver, blASSt Zone, Bone Sucker, Brrrr, Cumonawanalaya, Daffadildo, Dead Whore Dave, Do Monkey, Dude, Where's My Beercheck?, Head Banger, Heavin' Semen, I Swallow Wood, Little Ring Riding Hood, Menage A Paw, Missed Her Bush, Pornarotti, Porno Pixie, Prozac, RainBlow Not-So-Bright, Rocky Twat, Smells Like Teen Fanny, Squeeze Box, Tits R 4 Tricks, Two Drinks Away From My Sister, Vagitarian